Money? Power? Fame? Social Status? Position? Others to notice or like you?
We are driven by what we covet. Sometimes to action, sometimes to criticism, jealousy, envy. We all doom scroll on our phones when there is nothing else to do. Pick up the phone go to the same apps out of routine to window shop, or scroll through our social media of choice.
Not hard to find something we don’t have that someone else does. Images of their; love life, latest vacation, local food discovery, their latest toy, or most recent workout. Hashtag blessed.
Seeing others success can often make us feel sick. Thoughts run on auto pilot: they don’t deserve it, they cut corners, I know the truth about them nobody else does. First thoughts can be deceiving but are usually I want that and criticism of whoever has it in some fashion. Rarely out loud. Most of this happens in between our two ears. Little private conversations with ourself that no one else knows. Sometimes we don’t even pick up these conversations we have in our subconscious. Just auto pilot desire and justifying why we don’t have what they have.
Wanting what I don't have entices me to take things that don’t belong to me or haven’t earned. When I’m focusing on what others are doing I am more likely to take the short cut to get it for myself like booking a trip on the credit card instead of saving up for it so we can get there faster. I end up over extending myself and having pain later of paying the debt with interest.
Coveting can lead to self-seeking mindset, puffing up oneself with pride to convince ourselves of how we are better than him or her, harmful behaviors like talking poorly about others behind their backs knocking them down, causing pain to others and ourselves by taking what isn’t ours from someone else - promotion, you name it.
How do you change from coveting to truly winning? To create a life you really want? Make a plan. What do I want or need in life right now, 30 days from now, in 6 months, 1 - 5 years from today. Write up a plan of how to get there. Make a written list of your goals both short term and long. What can you accomplish this week that make your daily life better now and get you the life you want to have down the road.
Read that list in the morning and evening to remind yourself what you are focused on. Pull it own when you are tempted to doom scroll and get side tracked with coveting that leads to comparing yourself and not taking enough action to actually have a better life. Start focusing on yourself and not others. Add action steps to your list of goals to keep you on track. What do I need to do daily to hit my weight loss and fitness goals? What steps do I need to take to reach the next level of my career? Write it out and change your life instead of looking at someone else’s that you know.
Life is short. Don’t spend it wishing you had what your neighbors do.